Wednesday, December 4, 2019
Joshua free essay sample
Dirt and lumber was all that surrounded us as we cuddled in the deserted construction yard, a desolate, torn-up field that would someday be the home for tomorrows houses. With the frosty gusts the sky kept throwing towards us, it looked and felt like the sun had tucked itself in for the evening, leaving us to fend for ourselves for heat and light. The grubby birch playground was all that was alive in the mess of emptiness, so small in the grand scheme of the chaos around it. But thats where we stayed, keeping each other warm in the chilly, damp air of twilight. The cold was bitter on our ears and in our noses, and every time I moved I could feel the chill of it burn my skin in some previously unexposed area of ankle, or wrist. The air was rich with the scent of a potential downpour, but instead of getting it over with, the grim cloud-cloaked heavens taunted us with a soft but heavy mist, one that reminded us of Marchs temperature just as it was beginning to feel warm. Sometimes he hid in a strangerââ¬â¢s backyard. I would look up at the windows and hope no one was home. Other times, he ran into the street. At first I would yell shrilly and run after him. To my alarm, this would serve only to encourage Joshua to run faster. When Joshua finally let me catch him after a quarter of an hour, I tried to squelch my indignation at him for causing me to make a spectacle out of myself. I thought: ââ¬Å"Heââ¬â¢s just a kid. He has grownups telling him what to do from morning till night, so I canââ¬â¢t blame him if he wants a little fun. Heââ¬â¢s not doing it maliciously.â⬠(Although that I often doubted.) Then his mother suggested that stop running after him. I stayed in one place and waited for him to find me once he saw that I wasnââ¬â¢t chasing him. I would stand on the hot pavement, squinting, waiting, waiting, until I finally would breathe a sigh of relief as I saw him running my way. ââ¬Å"JoSHUA,â⬠I would say taking his ha nd. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re NOT ALLLOWED to run away from me! Donââ¬â¢t DO that again!!!â⬠ââ¬Å"â⬠¦Please.â⬠Joshua put me in embarrassing situations. He had no qualms about kicking or hitting me. One morning Joshua told me ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t want to go to camp.â⬠We were already halfway there. So I told him that of course he wanted to go, that camp was so much fun. This had no effect. Joshua got upset and began to fling pebbles at me in frustration. They hurt, and I blushed as two passersby stared and frowned. He stopped throwing pebbles only when I promised to buy him a transformer toy. During every swim-time Joshua tried to grab the hose used to fill the kiddy-pools. If he got the hose, he would drench me from head to toe. For the rest of the day I had walk around wet, my co-counselors giving me pitying looks. One day Joshua surprised me. He asked my permission. ââ¬Å"Pleeeeease can I spray you?â⬠ââ¬Å"No.â⬠ââ¬Å"But the boys like it,â⬠he pleaded with me in shrilly escalating tones, ââ¬Å"Theyââ¬â¢ll laugh! Pleeeeease can I spray you just one TIME?â⬠ââ¬Å"Wellâ⬠¦.not nowâ⬠¦.â⬠I thought quickly. He wanted peer approval. I was suddenly willing to get wet in order to make him happy. Should I let him spray me? Just then, Shua grabbed the hoseâ⬠¦Ah wellâ⬠¦ When Shua expressed appreciation, my job was suddenly worth it. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not Shua,â⬠Joshua wheezed in a forced accent. He took off his baseball cap and replaced it, upside down. He took a few steps leaning on an imaginary cane. ââ¬Å"I do not know who Shua eez. Aye am an old manâ⬠.Umm- OK, ââ¬Å"Mr. Old Man. â⬠¦.Should I take you to Camp Shemesh instead of Shua?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes. Take me to campâ⬠Better to play along. ââ¬Å"Surprise!â⬠yells Joshua as he straightens up and fixes his hat. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m Shua! Did I fool you?â⬠ââ¬Å"WOW!! It was you ALL ALONGâ⬠My smile is genuine. Nothing beats the light in Joshuaââ¬â¢s eyes when he thinks he has fooled me. The difficulty of getting along with Joshua made the relationship rewarding. Every time Joshua agreed to hold my hand I felt a personal pride as well as a strong surge of affection. When I first began working with Joshua, I would count the hours of each day eagerly waiting for the camp day to be over. ââ¬Å"Heââ¬â¢s a demon,â⬠I would think, ââ¬Å"in child form.â⬠Now, I kind of miss him. Evenâ⬠¦care about him, because I tried hard to make him happy. I am reminded of what Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler wrote in Michtav MiEliyahu, ââ¬Å"That which a person gives to another is never lostâ⬠¦. He can see a part of himself in the fellow-man to whom he has give. This is the attachment between one man and his fellow to which we give the name ââ¬Ëlove.ââ¬â¢Ã¢â¬
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